This article appeared in the Framingham Patch on Oct. 8, 2021

FRAMINGHAM, MA — Wayside Youth & Family recently celebrated the opening of its newest residence for adolescents with a nine-bed facility for boys between age 12 and 18.

Wayside Youth & Family Support Network celebrated the official opening of its first new residential building on its Framingham Campus in a decade.

The nine-bed group home provides adolescent boys ages 12-18 with long-term residential services such as therapy or education support. The goal of the program is to prepare youth for success as they approach young adulthood.

“We are proud to be able to provide youth a place to live while they work to become self sufficient, ” said Wayside’s President and CEO, Eric L. Masi, Ed.D. “We are grateful for the support of our entire community including our neighbors, city officials, the Framingham Police Department, the Framingham Public Schools and local businesses.”

Youth learn independent living skills such as how to obtain a job, complete high school graduation requirements and manage a bank account. Young adults can work in the community while residing in the program, said Tim Hagen, Wayside’s residential director. Approximately 60 percent of youth living in the residential program are employed, he said.

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June 15, 2021 

Contact: Michelle Hillman                                                                Michelle_Hillman@waysideyouth.org                                                                                                                                                                                                           

CHARLTON, MA – Wayside Youth & Family Support Network announced today that it opened a new program site in Charlton, Mass. to support local families in need of mental health services for their children.  

Wayside Charlton site will provide in-home therapy, therapeutic mentoring, group therapy, virtual caregiver support groups and social skills groups for youth who want to connect to their peers. Services offered are for residents of Charlton and the 20 surrounding towns.  

“We are pleased to expand therapeutic services for youth with behavioral health needs in their community,” said Charlton Senior Program Director, Anna Spencer, LICSW. “We know that many parents and caregivers of children with mental illness are struggling to manage behaviors during the pandemic. Our staff is available to relieve the stress parents are feeling, support families and provide coping skills for youth.” 

The office will be staffed by mental health clinicians, youth and family support workers in addition to peer mentors and family partners from Wayside’s Parent-Peer Partnership program. For referrals or questions call, 774-249-1290.  

More information about the Charlton site can be found on our website here: https://www.waysideyouth.org/aboutus/ourservicesoverview/services/waysidecentralma/.  

About Wayside: 

Founded in 1977, Wayside Youth & Family Support Network is a nonprofit, nationally accredited human services agency headquartered in Framingham, Mass. that is dedicated to building strength, hope and resiliency through its family-based outreach services, residential treatment programs, and community-based counseling services to more than 6,000 children, youth and families throughout Eastern, Central and Northeastern Massachusetts. For more information, visit www.waysideyouth.org.

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FRAMINGHAM – The MetroWest Health Foundation announced the award of over $720,000 in new grants to area organizations. The bulk of the funds will address immediate needs in response to COVID 19 by providing capacity building support to local public health departments, support to area councils on aging to address the social isolation of older adults, and funding to address the emotional resiliency of residents coping with the anxiety, stress and loss associated with the pandemic.

In addition to COVID-related funding, the foundation provided support to local organizations seeking to address health inequities in the region. This includes a grant to Wayside Youth & Family Support Network to be used to develop a regional resource center focused on health equity. The new center will develop tools, training modules and expert speakers that can be used by other organizations as they seek to address diversity, equity, and inclusion in their workforce, governance, and programming.

Organizations receiving grants under the foundation’s fall grant cycle are:

COVID 19 Grants to Enhance Public Health Capacity –

• Framingham Health Department $30,000
• Hopkinton Health Department $19,800
• Hudson Health Department $20,000
• Natick Health Department $30,000
• Needham Public Health Division $20,000
• Sudbury Board of Health $20,000

COVID 19 Grants to Address the Social Isolation of Older Adults –

• Ashland Council on Aging $24,000
• Friends of the Callahan Senior Center $25,000
• Holliston Council on Aging $16,650
• Massachusetts Assoc. for the Blind $21,347
• Needham Community Council $25,000
• Northborough Council on Aging $ 9,268
• Sherborn Council on Aging $16,000
• Thrive, Support & Advocacy $17,160

COVID 19 Emotional Resiliency Grants –

• Advocates, Inc. $29,962
• Boys & Girls Clubs of MetroWest $30,000
• Hudson Health Department $30,000
• New Hope, Inc. $30,000
• SMOC $25,782
• Spark Kindness $24,574
• Westborough Youth & Family Services $19,000

Health Equity Grants –

• Health Care for All $30,000
• Learning Center for the Deaf $30,000
• Natick Health Department $30,000
• Wayside Youth & Family Support Net. $29,769

Other Support –

• A Place to Turn $20,000
• Natick Service Council $20,000
• Town of Natick Rail Trail $75,000

The MetroWest Health Foundation is a catalyst for a healthy MetroWest, providing more than $5 million in annual financial support for preventative and responsive health programs. Through its work on issues such as adolescent health, healthy aging and health equity, the foundation seeks to develop and support programs that have a positive impact on the health of the 25 communities in the MetroWest area of Massachusetts. For more information about the foundation, visit www.mwhealth.org.

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It’s been a rough couple of months living through a pandemic, with little indication regarding if and when life will ever go back to “normal.” Explaining what “normal” looks like to children is difficult when there are no real answers. Anxiety in children is fueled by fear of the unknown which causes worry, stress and irritability.  

Even as the state continues to reopen and loosen restrictions, there are still so many questions about what’s next that we don’t have the answers to. 

Unfortunately, anxious children live in the world of “what–ifs.” What if school is different? What if I must wear a mask? What if I forget my mask? What if I won’t know anyone? What if I can’t go to Girl Scouts, or basketball or to summer camp? What if my parents get sick? What if I don’t want to go outside, to the beach or swimming? What will I do this summer if we can’t go anywhere? 

As parents, what can you do? 

Do Your Best to Answer Questions 

Answer the “what if” questions as best you can, using simple language and being honest about what you don’t know. Anxiety is typically about anticipating that something bad will happen. Children with anxiety need reassurance more than most other children. They are looking for an answer to quell the fear that keeps them up at night. If you don’t know the answer, it is OK to say that you don’t know, but that you and the important people in the child’s life are doing everything you can to make sure that they are safe wherever they are.  

Prepare Ahead of Time 

Children with anxiety like to be prepared. They want to anticipate every scenario. It may feel frustrating to you that they want to know for the sixth time if the school is safe, if desks are spaced apart, if teachers will wear masks, etc. Taking the time to have these conversations will go a long way toward reducing the fears that could potentially result in school refusal, tantrums, anxiety attacks or physical symptoms later.  

Brainstorm Answers to “What if” Questions 

Give them concrete examples of how they can respond to their “what if’s” on their own. For example, “what could you do if you have to wear a mask and you forget it at home?” Have them brainstorm ahead of time about what they would do in this situation; keep an extra mask in their backpack, tell their teacher, go to the nurse, etc. This is a way to turn a “worry thought” into a “positive thought” by creating a plan of action. 

Avoid Avoidance

Children who are anxious want to avoid situations that are scary or triggering for them. Allowing them to avoid these situations reinforces that the way to deal with their anxiety is to hide from it. You can help soothe their fears by taking small steps toward the feared situation, instead of running from it. 

Build a Coping Kit 

Help your child build a “coping kit” of tools that will work for them when they feel anxious. Some children like having a stress ball or fidget toy handy. Others like to practice deep breathing and yoga or put on headphones and listen to distracting music under a weighted blanket. Still others prefer to work with their hands – to draw, make a bracelet, knit, or build something. You and your child know best the tools that will help to calm them, and it is important that your child have access to those tools before their anxiety takes over. 

Debrief 

After your child has tried different coping tools, ask them what worked, and why, or alternatively, what didn’t work, and why not? Ongoing practice and reinforcement of these tools will allow them to access these coping skills when needed. Sometimes a skill works for a specific fear, but not for something else, so adjusting and problem solving is the best way to create lasting change. As with any skill, managing anxiety takes practice. 

Finally, do your best to manage your own anxiety around your children. You may be dealing with your own job changes, financial issues, childcare concerns, etc., but ideally it is best to keep those concerns among the adults. 

Mobile apps can also be a way to help quell anxiety, especially for preteens and teens who are rarely without their phones. 

For young children: 

• Breathe, Think Do, by Sesame Street 
• Stop Breathe and Think 
• Breathing Bubbles 
• Positive Penguins
  

For older youth: 

• Calm 
• Dreamy Kid 
• Smiling Mind 
• Take a Chill 

If you need immediate help – If you or your child need to see a counselor, contact the Behavioral Health Partners of MetroWest at (844) 528-6800. Telehealth services can be set up until in-person services resume. 

Lauren Barry, Ph.D., is a counseling psychologist who has provided treatment to children and adolescents at Wayside for over 20 years.

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The state is reopening, and while some people are venturing out of their homes, those living with their abusers may not be able to leave. Virtual counseling is available across the state and rape crisis hotlines are up and running. Call our FREE, confidential hotline 24/7 – 1-800-511-5070.

Below are some tips for survivors to stay safe while at home during COVID-19. 

What are the top 3 things people can do to keep themselves safe if they are living with an abuser during COVID-19?

1. Programs across the state are running virtually. Survivors can find a program in their region by visiting Jane Doe Inc’s website for resources and to find help in your area. Reach out to a local Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault program to connect with an advocate. Our FREE hotline is running without interruption 24/7, and our advocates can be reached at 1-800-511-5070. Services are available in Spanish, Portuguese and English, and further translations are available upon request.
2. Create a step by step safety plan. An advocate can help survivors devise a plan that is specific to your situation. Survivors should not be afraid to use an advocate’s time – the health and safety of survivors is the top priority of our advocates. (See Question 2 for more details on safety planning).
3. Practice self-care. Taking care of basic needs is the foundation of self-care. When people are struggling, especially survivors, they tend to forget about self-care. It is also common for people who have experienced past trauma to feel a resurgence of fears. To stay grounded, survivors can remind themselves of what they have overcome in the past and know that they can get through this as well. They can practice mindfulness strategies such as mediation and yoga to help them stay focused. They can pay attention to what they can control when they feel like they are losing control. Survivors may want to make a list of things to remind you of how strong they are.

What are key safety planning measures that those living with an abuser can do during COVID-19?

Safety planning is crucial so when it’s time to leave a survivor knows who to contact or where to go. Shelters may be a difficult option right now – investigate alternative safe places, such as religious centers or staying with a friend. Connect with family, friends and/or an advocate to make them aware of the plan. This can be when the abuser is in the shower or sleeping. If survivors have children, consider their needs and how to keep them safe. Locating important documents like divorce papers, custody documents, birth certificates, immigration documents and put them in a place that is easy to access during an emergency. Store contact information for health care providers and prescriptions in your phone if possible, or try to  memorize it.

What are things people can do if they experience Domestic Violence or Sexual Abuse for the first time during COVID-19?

COVID-19 is making it even harder for survivors to get help because they are with their abuser every day, under constant scrutiny and have less contact with community members. Many abusers are using the virus as a weapon and ignoring precautions or exaggerating risks to control survivors. Survivors should stay informed about the number of positive cases in their area and public places that have reopened. Trust information only from reputable sources such as Mass.gov and the World Health Organization to limit an abuser’s ability to twist the facts and/or manipulate survivors into staying home.

What can you tell survivors who are blaming themselves or feeling alone?

Domestic abuse and sexual assault this can happen to anyone, and the victim is never to blame. Services are available during the pandemic, and survivors should reach out to an advocate, safety plan or call the police if/when it is safe. Sexual Assault Nurse’s Exam (SANE) kits are available if survivors of rape or sexual abuse want to collect forensic evidence. SANE is still running across the state and they are working to open new centers outside hospitals to make access to SANE kits easier.

Other resources in Mass. from Jane Doe’s website:

• View a list of rape crisis center hotlines and direct links to their websites.
• Domestic Violence Safelink (a 24-hour multilingual statewide hotline) – 1-877-785-2020 TTY: 1-877-521-2601
• Intimate Partner Abuse Education Program – click here
• Children Exposed to Domestic Violence – click here
• Supervised Visitation – click here
• Civil legal needs for survivors of sexual assault and rape – Victim Rights Law Center

Resources outside Mass. or the U.S.:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233) or visit https://www.thehotline.org/help/ (chat or call).
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides referral for people experiencing abuse as well as for those who may be causing harm to others. If you are concerned about your safety or how you are treating people in your life, please call or chat today.
• Americans Overseas Domestic Violence Crisis Center (AODVC) International toll free crisis line, 866-USWOMEN (866-979-6636) or visit www.866uswomen.org

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When most people think of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) they likely picture an adult who has been in combat, a serious accident or experienced violence. Children can also have PTSD either from experiencing trauma directly or witnessing it. Childhood trauma can be from a specific event like a car accident or dog bite, but it can also include witnessing domestic violence or enduring neglect or abuse.

Children diagnosed with PTSD are more likely to react strongly to change in their life, to have more trouble managing their emotions and to have less ability to tolerate the disruption and unpredictability. On top of that, these children are significantly affected by the loss of their routine and social connections.

As you might imagine, COVID-19 is not helping.

Research has shown that traumatic experiences impact the developing brain. New fears can develop and old triggers for children can reappear or be exacerbated by the current pandemic.

Children who have been diagnosed with PTSD typically exhibit symptoms that fall into four main categories:

• Body – headaches, stomach aches, sleep problems
• Brain – thinking, concentrating, memory problems
• Emotions – feeling unsafe, having trust and attachment issues, always on edge, having trouble expressing feelings, low self esteem
• Behavior – overly reactive, irritable, aggression, difficulty with impulse control

What can you do as a parent to lessen trauma when it feels as though it’s all around us?

Five Things You Can Do:

1. Respond calmly. Parents who are calm reduce the tendency for children with PTSD to overreact with emotions or behavior. It is important to remember that your child is not a “bad kid,” but that bad things happened to them.
2. Help your child stay in the present which will make it easier for them to concentrate and manage their everyday life. There’s a popular and effective method we use at Wayside, where PTSD is the third most common reason families seek mental health treatment for their children, called the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Five Senses Grounding Technique. The technique is designed to help children calm themselves when their fears start to take over. It begins by your child taking a deep breath and looking for five things around them (saying them out loud), four things they can touch or feel, three things they can hear, two things they can smell and one thing they can taste. They then take another deep breath to finish the exercise. This can calm their body’s physiological fear responses as well as distract them from their anxious thoughts.
3. Talk to your child about what triggers their PTSD and plan ways they can calm themselves when they become anxious. Children with PTSD react with a “fight or flight” response, even when that is no longer helpful or necessary. Being aware of the specific triggers – sounds, smells and emotions can help minimize PTSD symptoms. Write down your child’s triggers on one side of a paper and specific solutions or distractions on the other side. For a child who was bitten by a dog for example, the trigger might be the sound of a dog barking or seeing a dog outside. They might need to know that you are close by, need to see the size of the dog or to be distracted by music or a movie. Reading stories about dogs or looking at puppy videos might help them feel less fearful of dogs.
4. Keep your child occupied with hobbies or things that will keep their mind busy. Try having them write in a journal or use breathing techniques until the feelings of panic pass. Some children want to talk things through, while others just need a quiet place to read a book or watch a movie. When they find a coping strategy that works for them, encourage them to use it again. If it didn’t work, come up with a different strategy so they feel more in control over their fears.
5. Try using mobile apps. There are family-friendly apps designed specifically for managing symptoms of PTSD including:

If your child is not currently in treatment but is exhibiting symptoms of PTSD and needs professional help, you can contact the Behavioral Health Partners of MetroWest at (844) 528-6800.

Lauren Barry, Ph.D. is a Counseling Psychologist who has provided treatment to children and adolescents at Wayside for over 20 years.

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Director of People & Culture and Chief Diversity Officer

Earlier this month, we welcomed our new Coordinator of Wellness and Benefits, Sukie Bansal-Roberts, to our People and Culture team. Sukie joined us at the right time as there is no greater need for wellness strategies than now as we all try to live, work, and take care of our children and families during a global pandemic. Wayside was focusing on enhancing our culture of wellness well before the pandemic; encouraging employees to disconnect from email on the weekends, giving staff an extra day off around the holidays and introducing new programs to help our employees achieve work-life balance. We’ve spent a lot of time thinking about wellness and how to best support our employees so much so that it’s part of our next Strategic Plan.

Sukie’s background is a perfect fit – before coming to Wayside, she worked as a curriculum developer and trainer for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Over the last 20 years she’s become an expert in mental and physical wellness. Sukie’s philosophy is that to be healthy, all eight dimensions of a person’s life (emotional, environment, financial, intellectual, occupational, physical, social, spiritual) must be considered.

We recognize that in order to bring their best selves to work and the world, our employees need to feel emotionally and physically supported. With Sukie’s help, our staff will focus on career wellness goals, emotional and spiritual health and physical well-being.

Sukie is also making wellness fun and accessible. Every week, she invites our 500 staff to join “Fridays With Sukie” via virtual Microsoft Teams meetings where she explores different wellness themes. This month she covered meditation, mindfulness, self-care and raising your vibration or your energy level to achieve clarity, peace, perspective, connection and sense of purpose.

We are feeling better already.

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For children who struggle with mental health issues, being at home during COVID-19 normalizes many of the behaviors that are generally warning signs for depression – staying in bed all day, not showering or getting dressed and lack of interest in activities. It’s understandable given the current circumstances that your child may want to wear pajamas and stay in their room all day, but children with depression can quickly slip into a black hole if this behavior continues for days or weeks.

Children with mood disorders like depression have a harder time being quarantined, especially teens who rely heavily on social interaction and peer support. It’s important that your child continues to take prescribed medications and schedules “visits” with their provider via Telehealth or by phone.

To help your child stay mentally healthy, you can work with them on coping strategies that will help improve their mood. One technique, called “behavioral activation,” decreases isolation by increasing positive activities. Parents can work with children by identifying small, daily goals and rewarding their child when goals are achieved.

Let your child decide what goals they want to set and activities to do at home. Depending on the level of depression, it may be as simple as taking the dog for a walk, baking cookies or playing a video game with a sibling. Ideally, you want to work with your child each day, to plan activities that will include basic hygiene, movement, using their brain (ideally by participating in remote learning) and some type of social connection.

If your child is not currently in treatment but seems to be exhibiting the symptoms of depression including sadness, irritability, lack of motivation, sleeping problems, appetite changes, concentration issues or feelings of hopelessness, check in with them about how they’re feeling. Focus on listening.  You can’t fix the situation, but you can be compassionate and listen to their perspective.  If it seems that they need professional help, you can contact the Behavioral Health Partners of MetroWest at (844) 528-6800.

If you are concerned that your child is experiencing thoughts of suicide (they are exhibiting the symptoms above and are also talking about wanting to die, they are giving away possessions, they are writing or drawing images of death, they are withdrawing from you and from contact with friends, their personality changes drastically, they are agitated and feel out of control), contact the Mobile Crisis Intervention program in your area by calling 877 382-1609 or on-line at www.masspartnership.com/member/esp

At Wayside, a large percentage of the children and adolescents we work with are diagnosed with some type of mood disorder. Our counselors work with the youth and their families through outpatient and/or in-home therapy to improve their mood and return them to their typical level of functioning.

There are also some great apps that can help boost your child’s mood. Here are a few:

• Daylio – A mood tracker that involves tracking and journaling.
• Happify – games designed to improve mood.
• Pacifica – a mindfulness program for teens.
• Virtual Hope Box – ways to focus on hopefulness.
• What’s Up – A mental health app that designed to practice coping skills. Ages 4+
• Calm Harm – an app for teens to help manage thoughts of self-harm.
• A Part of Me – A game that helps children cope with the loss of a of a parent, loved one or someone close to them. Ages 11+
• My gratitude journal – A journal that encourages users to list five things they’re grateful for using text, photos and emojis. Ages 10+

Lauren Barry, Ph.D., is a counseling psychologist who has provided treatment to children and adolescents at Wayside for over 20 years.

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At Wayside Youth & Family Support Network, where I’ve worked as a psychologist for 22 years, over 20 percent of our youth are diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Our trained clinicians, parent support specialists and special education teachers work with families to help manage the emotional and behavioral health needs associated with ADHD. Now, as a result of COVID-19, parents are doing the work previously shared by a team of people. There’s no expectation that any parent should be able to take on any of the above roles, let alone master them.

To help, I compiled a list of tips and resources with help from John Allen, a lead Family Support Specialist at Wayside’s MetroWest Community Services program.

Behavior management:

• If your child takes medication, contact your provider to make sure you have refills and to determine if their dose needs to be changed while they are not in school. Contact your pharmacy to see if it’s possible to have the prescription mailed.
• Expect more behavior issues and remember that your child is not acting willfully when they are disorganized, loud, messy, easily distracted or unable to wait their turn.
• Establish a routine and stick to it. Based on your child’s age, have them brainstorm with you what works best for them. There is more buy-in when they are part of the plan.
• Set clear expectations and rules that are age appropriate. Give consequences based on their emotional age rather than their actual age.

Schoolwork:

• A timer is your best friend! For homework, start by setting the timer for 10 minutes and gradually increase the amount of time. Build their self-esteem (an issue for kids with ADHD) by starting with information they already know.
• Children with ADHD can be anxious. Avoid battling with your child if they are getting frustrated. John emphasizes that your relationship with your child should be more important than schoolwork.
• Focus on your child’s strengths. Children with ADHD are often very creative thinkers. Tap into what their passion is (if it’s sports, have them create a Google slideshow about their favorite team or athletes) and let them run with it!

Monitor social media:

• Encourage appropriate social media use and monitor it – FaceTiming, gaming and making TikTok dance videos are all fun and safe ways for them to stay connected to their friends.
• Consider relaxing screen time rules. Local PBS stations will be offering additional educational programming for the foreseeable future. It might be a break you both will need.
• Use apps to your advantage – Calm for meditation, Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame teaches problem solving and self-control, Stop, Breathe and Think Kids teaches mindfulness and compassion and Priority Matrix will help with relaxation and keeping track of tasks.

Take a break from screens:

• Create a menu of non-screen choices: board games, puzzles cooking, art projects, playing cards, creating a movie, listening to music, reading, caring for pets, taking walks around the neighborhood or redecorating their room.
• Being confined to the house is extremely difficult for kids with ADHD. Start the day with movement and whenever they need to get their energy out. John suggests something as simple (and fun) as jumping jacks, running around the house as fast as they can or going for a hike. His kids love Geocaching (Google it!).

If you need immediate help – If you or your child need to see a counselor, contact the Behavioral Health Partners of MetroWest at (844) 528-6800.  Telehealth services can be set up until in-person services resume.

Lauren Barry, Ph.D., is a counseling psychologist who has provided treatment to children and adolescents at Wayside for over 20 years.

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