It’s not often families reach out to share the positive stories. It’s not because there aren’t plenty of instances where our staff are making a positive difference, but the nature of their work is often invisible. It may go unnoticed outside of individual and group therapy, but it’s certainly not unappreciated. I’m grateful for JP and Kendra and Diana for reinforcing what we already know. Kendra and JP have been running our Saturday Club group for almost two years now and are two of the most creative individuals I know. They have successfully transitioned their in-person group to virtual and they continue to plan some amazing activities. Both JP and Kendra have also been very supportive to other staff in coming up with creative at-home activities to keep our youth connected. Thank you both Kendra and JP, we are lucky to work with two creatively superior individuals!

Dear Allison,

“I am writing to you as JP Posnak and Kendra Holmgren’s supervisor to share with you what wonderful service providers you have in these two outstanding individuals. My son has been in their “Saturday Club” through Wayside since last September, and there is not a week that goes by that I do not say to myself and aloud to my husband, ‘These people are amazing – how lucky are we that our son is in this group!'”

Our son joined Saturday Club last September and greatly enjoyed the in-person outings every other week. As a very young and socially immature teenager with developmental delays, ADHD, slow processing, and other learning and social-emotional disabilities, my son benefited enormously from the opportunity for regular socialization and from the reinforcement of social skills that JP and Kendra taught.

Once COVID hit, JP and Kendra easily could have cancelled Saturday club, since it was no longer possible to do the alternate weekly outings.  Instead, these two wonderful individuals started meeting WEEKLY on Zoom with the group. They provided structure, socialization, fun activities and reinforcement of the importance of listening to others’ views and thoughts while developing self-advocacy skills as well.

It was the one social outlet my son continued to have all spring, and I get tears in my eyes when I think about Jenny and Kendra showing up at our house one day, masked and socially distanced, to bring my son the materials he would need for activities they would do in Saturday Club!

All summer, this group continued to meet weekly, even though Saturday Club was supposed to end in June. Kendra and JP recognized the need for continued socialization among the group and therefore continued to gather them each week.

Now into October, Saturday Club is still going strong and meeting weekly. My son looks forward to it all week and confirms with me each week that he can attend. The one time I made the mistake of scheduling something for him on a Saturday between 10 a.m.-2 p.m., he asked me to cancel it so that he would not have to miss Saturday Club. Sometimes we listen outside of my son’s door, and it’s an absolute joy to hear the group chattering away.

JP and Kendra have adopted activities that the kids all like to participate in. They have learned to play Roblox online to keep up with the members’ interests. Mostly, the group continues to provide structure, an outlet for socialization, and reinforcement of appropriate rules for social engagement.  I truly credit these two amazing individuals and their commitment to my child and the other Saturday Club kids for the fact that he has handled COVID, and being cut off from normal routine, as well as he has.

I do not know if you have a “Staff Member of the Month” award or if there is anything else I could do to show JP and Kendra how much we appreciate and value them. If there is something I can do, I would love to do it. I am reaching out to you as their supervisor so that you know what lovely, kind, empathetic, caring staff members you have in JP and Kendra.

My whole family will be forever grateful to them.”

Sincerely,

Diana Turk

The post Wayside Warriors: JP Posnak and Kendra Holmgren appeared first on Wayside Youth & Family Support Network.

It’s been a rough couple of months living through a pandemic, with little indication regarding if and when life will ever go back to “normal.” Explaining what “normal” looks like to children is difficult when there are no real answers. Anxiety in children is fueled by fear of the unknown which causes worry, stress and irritability.  

Even as the state continues to reopen and loosen restrictions, there are still so many questions about what’s next that we don’t have the answers to. 

Unfortunately, anxious children live in the world of “what–ifs.” What if school is different? What if I must wear a mask? What if I forget my mask? What if I won’t know anyone? What if I can’t go to Girl Scouts, or basketball or to summer camp? What if my parents get sick? What if I don’t want to go outside, to the beach or swimming? What will I do this summer if we can’t go anywhere? 

As parents, what can you do? 

Do Your Best to Answer Questions 

Answer the “what if” questions as best you can, using simple language and being honest about what you don’t know. Anxiety is typically about anticipating that something bad will happen. Children with anxiety need reassurance more than most other children. They are looking for an answer to quell the fear that keeps them up at night. If you don’t know the answer, it is OK to say that you don’t know, but that you and the important people in the child’s life are doing everything you can to make sure that they are safe wherever they are.  

Prepare Ahead of Time 

Children with anxiety like to be prepared. They want to anticipate every scenario. It may feel frustrating to you that they want to know for the sixth time if the school is safe, if desks are spaced apart, if teachers will wear masks, etc. Taking the time to have these conversations will go a long way toward reducing the fears that could potentially result in school refusal, tantrums, anxiety attacks or physical symptoms later.  

Brainstorm Answers to “What if” Questions 

Give them concrete examples of how they can respond to their “what if’s” on their own. For example, “what could you do if you have to wear a mask and you forget it at home?” Have them brainstorm ahead of time about what they would do in this situation; keep an extra mask in their backpack, tell their teacher, go to the nurse, etc. This is a way to turn a “worry thought” into a “positive thought” by creating a plan of action. 

Avoid Avoidance

Children who are anxious want to avoid situations that are scary or triggering for them. Allowing them to avoid these situations reinforces that the way to deal with their anxiety is to hide from it. You can help soothe their fears by taking small steps toward the feared situation, instead of running from it. 

Build a Coping Kit 

Help your child build a “coping kit” of tools that will work for them when they feel anxious. Some children like having a stress ball or fidget toy handy. Others like to practice deep breathing and yoga or put on headphones and listen to distracting music under a weighted blanket. Still others prefer to work with their hands – to draw, make a bracelet, knit, or build something. You and your child know best the tools that will help to calm them, and it is important that your child have access to those tools before their anxiety takes over. 

Debrief 

After your child has tried different coping tools, ask them what worked, and why, or alternatively, what didn’t work, and why not? Ongoing practice and reinforcement of these tools will allow them to access these coping skills when needed. Sometimes a skill works for a specific fear, but not for something else, so adjusting and problem solving is the best way to create lasting change. As with any skill, managing anxiety takes practice. 

Finally, do your best to manage your own anxiety around your children. You may be dealing with your own job changes, financial issues, childcare concerns, etc., but ideally it is best to keep those concerns among the adults. 

Mobile apps can also be a way to help quell anxiety, especially for preteens and teens who are rarely without their phones. 

For young children: 

• Breathe, Think Do, by Sesame Street 
• Stop Breathe and Think 
• Breathing Bubbles 
• Positive Penguins
  

For older youth: 

• Calm 
• Dreamy Kid 
• Smiling Mind 
• Take a Chill 

If you need immediate help – If you or your child need to see a counselor, contact the Behavioral Health Partners of MetroWest at (844) 528-6800. Telehealth services can be set up until in-person services resume. 

Lauren Barry, Ph.D., is a counseling psychologist who has provided treatment to children and adolescents at Wayside for over 20 years.

The post Parenting Children With Anxiety During COVID-19 appeared first on Wayside Youth & Family Support Network.